


Am I Even Here?

by vamplover82



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-20
Updated: 2007-01-20
Packaged: 2017-10-06 01:00:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vamplover82/pseuds/vamplover82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Do you even see me at all?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Am I Even Here?

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and con. crit. are much appreciated.

Sometimes it's like I'm fucking invisible. Usually I don't mind too much; a lot of people wouldn't understand me or want to know me anyway. But with you, I want to be noticed.

I want you to really see me. Sure, we know each other. We're friends; good friends, even. But still you don't see me. I get sort of pushed aside in favor of others who always seem to be more _there_. And that kills me a little more each day. I _am_ here, I see you.

I watch you whenever I get the chance (which seems to be more and more often, because who wants to talk to quiet little Mikey Way anyway?), and I can't seem to stop, no matter how hard I try.

I just want to know everything about you, and sometimes it's just easier to learn things by listening rather than talking. Somehow, it seems more awkward to be around you every day, even though we've know each other long enough that that shouldn't happen.

It's like I don't even know what to say to you anymore. And the worst part is that I think the others are starting to notice. Gerard always asks me what's wrong and Bob has a disturbing tendency to stare at me like he's trying to figure something out.

And I can't tell them; I just can't. Gee and I may be best friends, but I'd just never be able to adequately describe how I feel or what's wrong. How do you explain feeling invisible to someone who never has been and never will be invisible, for better or worse?

So I just sit here, writing all of this down, wishing I could tell you even a fraction of what I'm feeling. Maybe someday I'll be strong enough to do that, but today isn't that day. Or maybe someday you'll actually notice, maybe someday you'll see the man sitting right in front of you, just wishing you would love him as much as he loves you.

Maybe someday, Frank, I'll stop being your invisible friend. Maybe someday I'll shine through.

***

Mikey sat in quiet contemplation, trying hard not to cry. He'd be damned if he was going to cry over Frank again. So instead he just sat, trying to think of something else to write. Something that would help get his mind off of Frank or let out some of his current frustration and sadness.

Unfortunately, nothing came to mind, and Mikey eventually gave up and just started to think about Frank. About what it might be like to kiss him, their lips pressing together softly.

Frank would slide his hands over Mikey's jaw, bringing them around to clasp behind his neck. Mikey would slowly run his tongue over Frank's lips, slipping it inside when Frank's lips parted, as they surely would.

Their tongues would tangle together, and Mikey's hands would slip around Frank's waist, pulling them closer together.

By this time, Mikey's eyes had closed, and he just drifted in his daydream, not even realizing that he was crying.

***

Frank's eyelids fluttered as he groggily tried to open his eyes. He was running on about four hours of sleep in the last two days, so waking up was rather difficult. He could only get his eyelids halfway up, and what he _could_ see really didn't seem to want to come into focus.

Frank knew that something must have woken him up; he was far too tired to be randomly waking up for no reason. So Frank just laid still for a minute, trying to figure out what it was.

That's when he heard it; the sound of crying. And from what he could tell, it was coming from the direction of Mikey's bunk.

Frank absolutely hated it when other people cried. He knew it was sort of idealistic, but he really just wanted everyone, especially people he cared about, to be happy.

Frank knew he'd never be able to get back to sleep if Mikey continued to cry, so he rolled himself out of his bunk, crawling over to Mikey's bunk and climbing in.

Once he got there, however, Frank really didn't know what to do, and he was still much too asleep to try to figure it out. So Frank did the first thing that came to his mind; he kissed Mikey.

Now this may have seemed a strange way for someone to comfort a friend to anyone else, but to Frank's mind, it made perfect sense. He loved Mikey, more than he should maybe, and kissing people you loved was supposed to make them feel better, right? Right.

***

Mikey was just getting to the part of his daydream when Frank was about to get naked when he felt a pair of lips press against his own. Since dream-Frank was standing in front of him, Mikey knew the lips must really be an actual person.

He snapped his eyes open, seeing a pair of half-open hazel eyes looking back at him. Mikey closed his eyes again, relishing the kiss for a moment before pulling away slowly. He opened his eyes again, staring at Frank and almost unable to believe what had just happened.

"Frankie, what was that for?" Mikey asked nervously.

"You were sad. I just want you to be happy." Frank smiled faintly.

"And you thought kissing me would be the best way to make that happen?" Mikey asked, a note of incredulity creeping into his voice.

Frank, however, took no notice of it. "Of course. Kissing someone you love is supposed to make them feel better." Frank said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You love me?" Mikey sounded so vulnerable it made Frank's heart ache.

"Of course I do, sweetheart."

At that, Mikey was crying again, waking Frank up a little more.

"What's wrong, Mikey?"

"Nothing, Frankie. I'm just happy you love me. I've been waiting a long time to hear it." Mikey smiled through his tears, leaning in to kiss Frank again.

After a minute, Frank pulled away. "And I love you too, by the way." Mikey added.

"Good. Now can we go to sleep, sweetheart? I'm beat."

"Of course." Mikey replied, snuggling down in the bunk next to Frank and pulling a blanket over both of them.

He fell asleep smiling and wrapped around Frankie, just where he wanted to be.


End file.
